Nights in Rodanthe.

Nights in Rodanthe (2008)

USA

97mins

Director: George C. Wolfe

Writer: Nicholas Sparks (novel)

              Ann Peacock

             John Romano

Why not?  Why not give the last two posts of the month to Diane Lane?  She deserves them.

Oh, Nights in Rodanthe.  Such an elegant title isn’t it?  Once again I was forced to watch this on a flight on a shitty airline that still hasn’t caught on to the idea of having TV screens installed in the backs of every seat so that you can choose which films you watch as you fly.  (Incidentally, that airline was Lufthansa and I truly don’t recommend it.)  No, they do it the old fashioned way where they show you one film every six fucking hours, on a faded and blurry screen that you can barely see at the fucking front of the plane.  And what better film to drop on a flight full of bored, entertainment deprived travellers than fucking Nights in Rodanthe?  Awesome.

In this smoldering heap, Diane Lane surprised everyone by playing – you guessed it – a divorcee.  Richard Gere is in this fucker too and he plays a doctor who is tormented by the death of a patient.  They both end up meeting up at a sea front getaway.  Gere plays hard to get, but it isn’t long before they both get liquored up and Lane’s got her Kung-Fu grip going all over Gere’s sausage.  Then they struggle with their relationship for reasons that don’t matter and which do nothing more than extend the running time of the film.  There are also some wild horses that are supposed to run across the beach from time to time.  I didn’t care about these horses when Diane Lane’s character tells Richard Gere’s character about them at the beginning of the film, and I especially didn’t care about them when they actually materialize at the end of the film.

Come to think of it, I didn’t care about anything in this film.  It’s also pretty fucking depressing to consider that if my flight would have plunged into the Atlantic Ocean whilst I was watching this, it would have been the last film that I’d ever seen.  Now that’s a truly horrible thought.

 I think I just ruined my day.